


Let Me Tell You A Lie

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu is in Itachiyama - Freeform, Inspired by Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso | Your lie in April, Komori is a good cousin, M/M, Sakusa and Atsumu are roomies, Volleyball is the main focus, high schoolers, sakusa is confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27826978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: When Miya Atsumu transfers to Itachiyama Academy in Sakusa's second year of high school, Sakusa begins to regain his love for volleyball after a freak accident in his first year of high school.Inspired by Your Lie In April.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 96





	1. Arrival of a fox

**Author's Note:**

> Most of my websites have been down the entire day but that kinda forced me to do work and write this story so thats a good thing. Been listening and rewatching your lie in april and I just thought heck why not write a SakuAtsu version volleyball style?
> 
> Also this is my 100th Haikyuu fanfic to this website (dammit time flies when you're in a pandemic and have nothing to do haha!)..
> 
> Enjoy!

_There was a tall wall looming before his eyes._

_A high, high wall._

_How does the view looked like on the other side?_

_Will he ever be able to see it?_

_Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t know._

_The world around him was monotone; the court was filled with the black and white bodies of players, the sound of people cheering muted in his ears. His body was numb as he rises into the air, ready to spike as his hand collides with the ball. The blockers blocked it, the ball flying through the air as Komori runs to get it, Kiyoomi turning just in time to see his cousin reaching the ball._

_He doesn’t see him slamming past the boundaries and into an impending body, the impact of the collision sending Komori sprawling back. The libero could only scream as he held onto his torn leg, his muscles spasming as the medics came in for back up._

_It was all his fault._

…

“Seriously, you expect me to bunk with someone else who isn’t you in school?” Kiyoomi growls into his phone as his cousin chuckles. The spring air was still chilly as Kiyoomi wrapped his scarf around his neck, trying to keep himself warm. He always wondered why does the school need to be stupid enough for them to have their morning assembly outdoors first thing in the year. The fact he had to stand with so many people at once was already making his skin crawl, the spiker digging his hands into his pockets as he went to stand in line.

“Don’t worry! Don’t worry! I will be back with you next year before you know it! I just need to stay in the hospital for a bit longer. Anyhows, I checked in and it looks like your roomie is pretty interesting.”

“Screw you, Motoya.”

“Love yu, cuz. Enjoy the ceremony! I know you hate it!” Komori grins as he ends the call, Kiyoomi sighing as the principal begins to speak. His brain flys out of the window as the day went on, the spiker walking from class to class. Without his cousin, everyone seemed to be even more on edge, as though he would bite them if they came too near. Everyone knew of Sakusa Kiyoomi, resident germaphobe and one of the best wing spikers in the country who put his cousin out of commission. People on the team were still gossiping behind his back of how Kiyoomi had always been too powerful on the court and the only person who could keep an eye on him was Komori. Now that he was out of the equation, most people were dreading to even be in the same vicinity as him.

“Oof! Sorry!” a voice calls as a body slams into Kiyoomi. The spiker staggers back as he looks up to see a bleached blonde student rushing to pick up his stuff. The boy looked flustered as he picked up a fallen book, Kiyoomi’s brow rising as his eyes met golden brown.

“Sorry. Was in a bit of a hurry. Do ya know where the science classroom is? Damn tis place is huge! I wonder how ta heck ya even navigate around here!” Kiyoomi could already feel a blood vessel in his brain popping from how annoying the boy’s accent was. He sounded like he came from the sticks; how the hell did he managed to get into a top school like Itachiyama?

“Turn left. And don’t be late. Sato-sensei will let you swim with the fishes if you’re late.” The boy yells out a thanks as he rushes down the hallway, nearly slamming into a few other students as Kiyoomi shudders. He slowly dusted himself from whatever germs the boy had on him before making his way to the next class, the teacher’s voice nearly making him sleep as he watched the cherry blossoms fluttering from the trees outside.

Finally, he found himself back in the gym with the rest of the team. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits from having had a long break and with the new year came new members. Kiyoomi was already dreading on who would be their new libero; Komori had been holding the fort for so long that Kiyoomi wondered if anyone could even match up to speed the way he defended the court. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t have someone to liason him with the rest of the team; Komori would often do the talking while Kiyoomi skulked in the shadows.

“I have some interesting news for you all! This spring, one of the best setters in the country has transferred to Itachiyama. I’m sure all of you have heard of him somewhere before. Miya, come and introduce yourself.”

Miya? Where had he heard of him before?

“Sup! Name’s Miya Atsumu! Setter! Let’s get along, shall we?” the boy grinned as Kiyoomi’s eyes widened. The same faux blonde was now grinning like a feral fox, his smile nearly breaking his face as he throws a peace sign at the group.

“Catch up with me if you can.”

Turns out for being one of the best setters in the country, Miya Atsumu was an epic dick. Most of the team were beginning to be wary of the setter the moment they began spiking drills, Atsumu sparing no expanse in shouting at someone if they couldn’t hit his sets. Kiyoomi felt mildly sad for the newbies, most of them shaking in fear as Atsumu barked at them to come forward to spike, one of them even missing the ball since he leaped too slowly when he heard Atsumu shouting at him. iizuna, their captain had to drag Atsumu to the corner and tell him to calm the heck down since he himself was a newbie and the comment that Atsumu had given him made even Kiyoomi shudder.

“Why the hell should I toss to scrubs who can’t even keep up with me? they want to play volleyball, they better make sure they know how to keep up.” After that, even the coach left Atsumu to be, Kiyoomi watching as the whispers grew louder and louder the longer the session went on.

“Who the hell does he think he is?”

“Just because he can set and won the best setter award in nationals, doesn’t mean he can act like a dick.”

“He’s nothing without his twin.”

Atsumu didn’t even seem to care about the glares and whispers thrown at him as he proceeded to practice some tossing, the ball falling up and down in the air as he set it up perfectly each time. Not a single time did the ball wobble out of its trajectory; it constanstly moved in a straight line, Atsumu’s gaze never breaking even as Kiyoomi moved to grab a ball.

“Alright! Time to get into groups for two on two!” A collective groan escaped from the group as the coach began to pair them off, Kiyoomi nearly spluttering when it was announced that he and Atsumu were going to be paired together.

“Are you kidding us?! The best spiker and seter together?! Do you want us to die coach?!” one of the players yelped as the coach sighed, “I want to see how well they sync up with each other. Its only a practice run, don’t worry.” Kiyoomi doesn’t bother saying anything as he and Atsumu made their way to the court, Atsumu’s gaze never leaving the back of his head as he grins.

“Let’s play a good game, Omi.” Kiyoomi didn’t even have time to bark out a retort as Atsumu spikes the ball across the net, leaving a blazing trail in his wake as the player across the net barely managed to receive it. The game began with earnest, each team rotating out whenever they lost a point which meant that Kiyoomi and Atsumu stayed in most of the time. Both never exchanged any words with one another, moving in sync as Atsumu set each ball with accurate precision. Kiyoomi had plenty of good setters in his life but this…

It was almost as though Atsumu was a monster.

As he spiked the ball onto the court, Kiyoomi felt the slightest crack appearing in the wall in front of him and a single ray of light bleeding from it.

That one light came in the form of a whirlwind known as Miya Atsumu.

…

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Kiyoomi growled as he saw Atsumu lounging on the bed, still in his sweaty gym clothes. God forbid him but Kiyoomi was very very close to murdering Atsumu for 1. Stinking up the room 2. Lying on the freaking bed still sweating 3. Being in the room in the first place 4. For even trying to make excuses on why he couldn’t take a damn bath beforehand.

“Excuse ya but I’m your new roommate. Nice to meet ya!” Atsumu grinned, his Hyogo accent rolling off his tongue. Kiyoomi swore he had never hated country bumpkins this much in his life; Miya Atsumu seemed to be the cream of the crop in terms of annoying people.

His half of the room consisted of half opened bags of clothes and several books were strewn across his study desk. Luckily for them, they each had a space of their own that neatly divided the room in half. Atsumu’s room looked like a hurricane had came through; Kiyoomi didn’t even want to think of how this would turn out as the year went on.

Before Atsumu could protest, Kiyoomi stood up and began to set a boundary between the room. He snatched a roll of masking tape and dragged it along the ground, taping it to neatly divide the room in half as Atsumu watched in silence. He was surprised the setter didn’t say a word as he finished, the glare in Kiyoomi’s eyes making even the snarkiest person on the planet flinch as he growled.

“Dare step into my space, and I will kill you.”

And that was how Kiyoomi ended up spending the next year with Miya Atsumu, both on the court and in the dorms.


	2. Life with Miya Atsumu sucks (sorta)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Has anyone ever told you you’re a creep?”
> 
> “Has anyone ever told ya that yer look pretty?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to write today so here is the next chapter!

“Omi!”

“Omiomi”

“Omi-kun!”

“Omiomi-kun!”

Kiyoomi swore that he had never hated having hearing this much in his entire life. If he ever thought he needed an alarm clock when Miya Atsumu was his roommate, he was sorely mistaken. Every single day, he was woken up at the ass crack of dawn as Atsumu tried to drag him out for morning practice but when the blonde realised that he would lose his head if he ever tried to force the male out, he began to stake out on his own. It wasn’t as though Kiyoomi didn’t know what time he had to get up to go to training; he just hated the idea of listening to Atsumu rant about anything and everything during their walk to the gym.

The only time he had peace and quiet was during class. He thanked the gods above for giving him the chance to breath during lesson time, letting his thoughts drift off as he sat in the classroom. If he closed his eyes and paid a bit more attention, he could often hear Atsumu squawking from the field during PE or calling out a wrong answer during class since he was right next door. Once, Atsumu even managed to fling a baseball at his classroom, which happened to be on the third floor and nearly nailed him in the head.

Night time was the worst. Since they were both in the same year and Atsumu was nothing short of being the classic example of having more muscle than brains, Kiyoomi had to take to plugging on noise-cancelling earphones just to tune out Atsumu trying to pester him to help him with his homework or screaming at his brother in Hyogo to help him out.

“Omi! I can’t afford to fail! If I do I cannot play in Interhighs!”

“Then you should have listened to the teacher in class.”

  
“What!? Is it my fault that I called Mr Sato an idiot since he can’t teach jackshit?!”

“Why are you even here in the first place?” Kiyoomi groans as he slides the noise cancelling earphones from his ears. Atsumu collapsed into his chair, swiveling around in it as he uses his heels to push himself backwards. Kiyoomi has to stop himself from walking over to Atsumu’s side of the room and clean his desk; he couldn’t even see the surface of the thing other than piles of paper and books that were ready to fall off. Atsumu had somehow managed to not spill a opened can of coke over the table despite it being perched hapzardly on top of a dictionary.

“What? Can’t a guy just study in Tokyo for a year?”

“You were in Inarizaki, one of the best teams in the country. I don’t think you need to come here at all.” Kiyoomi had done some digging into the setter (not because he wanted to know how the hell he hadn’t recognised the best setter in middle school) and found that not only did he have an identical twin brother he left in Hyogo but he was also in one of the best schools in the country. He hadn’t played Inarizaki since they were in different brackets and Inarizaki had lost to Shiratorizawa during the quarter finals, but he knew that that school consisted of foxes that were out to tear their enemies to shreds.

Atsumu merely pressed a finger to his lips, his grin making Kiyoomi want to chuck his English dictionary in the setter’s face as he sneered, “It’s a secret.”

It was at that exact moment that Atsumu’s coke decided to take a nose dive, effectively destroying the pile of maths homework that Atsumu had been working on for the past three hours.

Kiyoomi did not sleep the entire night, hearing the older Miya screeching profanities at the wall as he tried to finish up his homework in vain and clean the mess up.

…

“Kill me now,” Kiyoomi groans as Komori laughs. The libero had come for a visit to the gym just to see how his team was getting along; and also to keep his cousin company. The libero found the fact that his cousin was even talking to someone else other than him amusing, watching as the setter in question set a ball in the air for one of the wing spikers to spike.

“Well you don’t seem to be having any problems with volleyball.”

“That’s beside the point. How do you expect me to rest when he’s squawking every damn night? I’m surprised we haven’t got any noise complaints so far.”

“Considering both of you are the best setter and spiker in the country, I think they have to compromise.”

“You’re the best libero too, don’t discount yourself.” Kiyoomi nudges him in the ribs as Komori lets out a chuckle, the libero touching his torn knee as he sighs, “I don’t know if I can ever be after this.” The doctors had said that he could go back to volleyball in a year but one year of not being in the sport could change a lot of things for Komori. Kiyoomi knew he would work to fight his way back to the top and he yearned to have his cousin by his side once more.

If only time would be kind to them all.

“Oi ya scrubs! Get the damn ball will ya?!” Atsumu shouts as one of the first years flinches. The boy shouts out an apology as he scrambles to get the scattered balls, Atsumu turning to wave Kiyoomi over for some practice as the spiker grunts, “Got to go.”

“Have fun with your setter!” Komori winks as Kiyoomi growls, “What do you mean by that?”

“Its been a while I’ve seen you smiling this much during practice,” Komori giggles as Kiyoomi tries not to flip the finger at him. He moves onto the court as Atsumu tosses a ball into the air, Kiyoomi flying upwards to spike it as he feels the ball fitting nicely into his palm and slamming it across the court.

…

“Number 4! Sakusa Kiyoomi!” Claps rose in the air as Kiyoomi stepped forward, bowing to the coach as he received his jersey. As horrible as most people said the Itachiyama colours were, Kiyoomi found the vomit colour jersey to be quite unique. He hugs it to his chest as he moves to sit down, the coach calling out more names until it came to number 7.

“Number 7. Miya Atsumu!” No one clapped as Atsumu moved to take his jersey, the faux blonde giving the coach a bow before moving to walk back. He didn’t care about the whispers following behind his back of how their captain, Iizuna won’t be playing in Interhigh because of him as he moved to sit next to Kiyoomi.

‘You really don’t give jack shit about people hating you don’t you?” Kiyoomi asks as more members were called forward to receive their jerseys.

“Why would I? Scrubs will always be scrubs and even if I were to be a goodie two shoes,” the smile on Atsumu’s face reminded Kiyoomi of a fox stalking its prey, “I will be taken down easily by the others.”

Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything even after practice was over and they trudge back to the dorms, not saying anything about the slight tremble in Atsumu’s hands as they headed back.

Atsumu was truly a strange guy.

…

“Oi. When are you going to go back to the dorms? The competition is tomorrow.” Kiyoomi growls as Atsumu continues to spike ball after ball onto the court. The setter had been spiking for the past half hour even when the team had the day off. Somehow Kiyoomi took the chance to check out the gym and happened to see the setter busy spiking balls.

“One more.”

“You’ve been saying that for an hour.” Atsumu doesn’t answer as he tosses the ball into the air, his body flying up to meet it just as Kiyoomi catches the slight freeze in his movements. Even though the ball slams onto the other side with such brute force Kiyoomi himself wasn’t sure if he could receive it, slight concern rushes through him as Atsumu wobbles. Kiyoomi scowls as he walked over to snatch the setter by the arm, dragging him to sit on a chair before growling, “Move and I will make sure I kick your knees out so you won’t be able to play tomorrow.” He proceeds to pick up each and every ball, trying not to take note of how Atsumu’s eyes followed his every movement until the last ball falls into the basket.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a creep?”

“Has anyone ever told ya that yer look pretty?”

Atsumu dodges the volleyball spiked in his face, the setter grinning as Kiyoomi tries to hide the blush in his face, yanking up his face mask as he stalks out of the gym and into the night.

Why did Atsumu have to be both annoying and suave at the same time?!


	3. Dimming sun

Itachiyama blows through Interhigh preliminaries without any problems.

Alongside Fukurodani Academy, the two will be representing Tokyo in Nationals, a stage that both Kiyoomi and Atsumu have been on countless times. This would be the fifth time Kiyoomi ever stepped on the orange court; his blood boiled as he yearned to see Ushijima and the rest of Shiratorizawa standing on the other side of the court.

After their win, Kiyoomi began to notice that the number of confessions to Atsumu skyrocketed. Even though it was well known that Atsumu was a guy with no filter and wouldn’t even think twice about calling girls squealing pigs, that didn’t stop the student body from trying to confess to him. Heck, he even got confessions from people from other schools; Kiyoomi was so tired of going to their dorm only to see a girl trying to sneak in or hand something to another male student to give to the setter.

“Can you just tell them that you don’t want to date? I don’t think its healthy for girls to be called annoying everytime they confess to someone,” Kiyoomi sighs as he sits on his bed, trying his best to read Volleyball Monthly. A spread dedicated to the setter himself sat on his lap, his own face featured on the cover of the magazine as Atsumu groans, “Come on, I don’t know how am I going to even tell everyone about it! I keep telling em I don’t want to date so what am I gonna do if they’re persistant?”

“You really are a piece of shit,” he growls as Atsumu snickers, moving to sit in his own bed. Over the past few months, Atsumu had been crossing Kiyoomi’s side of the room ever so slightly. It started off with them trading pencils or erasers for homework before it morphed to Kiyoomi lending him notes or homework to copy just so he wouldn’t fail his classes. As much as he hated to admit it, they needed the setter to win Nationals.

For Komori, they needed to win that year.

“Omi, I won’t be going for practice tomorrow.” Kiyoomi’s head jerks up so fast he thought he would snap his neck as the setter laughs, “Don’t worry about it! Samu is in town and I need to go do something with him. Its been a while since I saw him.”

“You think coach would even let you skip out because of that excuse?”

“I already told him and he said its fine. Besides, I will be out from school the whole day tomorrow so you don’t have to see me at all,” Atsumu grins as he flashes him a smile. Kiyoomi scowls as he closes the magazine, having lost all interest in reading before lying down and pulling the covers over himself. Atsumu took it as a sign to turn off the lights as well, the blonde making sure he was quiet as Kiyoomi tried to go to bed.

The next day, Kiyoomi awoke to see Atsumu all dressed in casual clothing. For a moment, his tired brain thought that he actually looked good in a dark blue blazer and a white shirt, his legs hidden underneath black jeans that hugged his muscles. Kiyoomi cursed himself for even thinking like that when a knock sounded on the door, Atsumu tip toeing to open it. Kiyoomi shuffled as quietly as he could to see an identical version of Atsumu, albeit with grey hair standing at the entrance. The resemblance was so uncanny that Kiyoomi nearly had a heart attack for a second when Osamu hissed, “Oi, isn’t that my jacket?”

“Shut it and let’s go. I want to get out of the damn hospital as soon as I can.”

Osamu sighs as his brother steps out of the room, closing the door as quietly as he could as Kiyoomi stares at the ceiling.

What business did Atsumu have in the hospital?

…

Kiyoomi continued to look out for Atsumu as practice went on. With nationals drawing ever so close, the blonde was exerting himself more and more in each practice. It didn’t help that he was running people into the ground even more often than normal, his cursing echoing in the gym as he told off one more person.

  
“Come on! Ya think you can make it to nationals like this?” he shouted as the boy shivered, “Sorry, Miya-senpai.”

“Don’t sorry me and work on it!” The boy bows quickly before excusing himself, running out of practice as some of his friends chased after him. Atsumu moved to sit on the bench, grabbing his bottle to take a drink out of it as Kiyoomi asks, “Why are you so harsh to them?” When Atsumu looks up at him, Kiyoomi could almost feel the glare piercing him as the setter growls.

“These guys have so much potential. If they think they can just ride on the tailcoats of others and take all the time in the world to improve, they’re mistaken.” Somehow, that took Kiyoomi back the day where Atsumu had to go to the hospital and how his hands shook ever so slightly whenever he was practicing.

Atsumu squawked as a towel was dropped onto his head, Kiyoomi wiping his hand on his practice pants before walking away.

“As annoying as you are, we need our setter to be in top condition. So make sure to take care of yourself.” Kiyoomi doesn’t notice Atsumu’s sad smile as he walks to the other end of the gym, the setter’s lips moving to form words that no one else heard.

“I’m sorry, Omi.”

…

Nationals came like a lion.

Itachiyama blasted through each and every one of their opponents with ease, no one able to stand up against two of the best players in the country. Most found themselves being unable to even blink as Kiyoomi spiked ball after ball and Atsumu set each ball with precision, their bodies rooted to the ground as they lost point after point.

At long last, Itachiyama came against Inarizaki, the faces of Atsumu’s old teammates smirking back at him as the setter gave them a wave.

“Hi guys. Long time no see,” he grins as his twin scowls, “Don’t ya think we are weak just because yer aren’t here.”

“What?! I am the best!”

“Shut it yer scrub. Running off to Tokyo of all places, what the heck?” Osamu growls as a boy with hooded eyes placed a hand on his shoulder. Osamu clamped his mouth shut as a boy with white hair with black tips stepped forward. He reminded Kiyoomi of a guardian deity watching over its followers, his eyes meeting Atsumu’s as he spoke.

  
“Have ya found what yer were looking for?” The smile on Atsumu’s face was the most genuine Kiyoomi had ever seen, the setter laughing as he grinned, “Yeah, Kita-san, I have.” The captain smiled as he offered a hand for the setter to take, most of Itachiyama watching the exchange with both awe and horror as Kita grins, “Let’s have a good game.”

Inarizaki was one of the strongest challengers Kiyoomi had ever come across. He couldn’t imagine how it must have been like for Atsumu to be on their team; his other half was already a pain to deal with. Osamu’s spikes were as bad as some of the best players in the country and heck, his setting was almost as good as Atsumu’s! The way the twins were even able to read each other during each attack was scary as they spiked and block one another, their jeers following each other across the game as the rally went on.

Soon, both teams were in the final set. Their coach brought them to the bench for one last roundup, giving them pointers on how to beat Inarizaki when Atsumu spoke up. The setter had been surprisingly mild towards the team today, not cursing anyone but his own brother and himself when something went wrong.

“Trust me on this. I know them like the back of my hand. And I will make sure we win this.” Kiyoomi took Atsumu’s profile in for the first time, taking in the blonde being clad in the lime green and yellow colours of Itachiyama. It looked odd to see him standing on his side of the court instead of with the black and white of Inarizaki; Atsumu was more like a sly fox than a persistent weasel.

That didn’t mean that Kiyoomi didn’t appreciate him to be by his side.

They stepped onto the court once more, the sound of Inarizaki cheering filling the air as Itachiyama spiked the ball over. One more point…

One more point…

And they reach the finals.

The ball was up in the air. the rally had gone on for a good few minutes now, each team not wanting to lose that final point. Kiyoomi could feel himself getting grounded into the court more and more, his knees screaming to just rest when a single voice cut through his mind. As he looked past the darkness and the pressure building up in his chest, he saw a sun rising before his eyes and his name being formed on his lips.

“Omi!”

Kiyoomi lets out a final cry as he rises into the air, spiking the ball across the court so hard it left marks on the ground. Osamu curses as he fails to receive the ball, the ball slamming onto the ground before coming to a halt. For a long moment, the court was silent as all the players stared at the finished outcome. When the whistle blew, the moment was broken as Itachiyama broke out into cries of happiness, the team rushing to meet one another on the court as Kiyoomi turned to look at Atsumu.

He watched as the setter gave him a smile before toppling to the ground, his body meeting the court with a resounding smack. It took a long time for the others to realise that Kiyoomi was screaming for help instead of happiness, the wing spiker holding onto the setter as Osamu and the others rushed to Itachiyama’s side of the court. Kiyoomi couldn’t stop himself from shaking at how pale Atsumu looked like now; his body was clammy and he was sure it wasn’t from exhaustion from the game.

  
“Tsumu you idiot! I told you not to overexert yourself! I told ya!” Osamu cursed as people began to scream for a medic. Kiyoomi didn’t let Atsumu go into his brother’s arms, continuing to hold onto the setter as his name spilled from his lips.

“Atsumu.”

“Atsumu.”

“Atsumu.”

He couldn’t lose him.

He couldn’t lose his sun anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choo choo choo! All aboard the angst train people!

It was a miracle that Itachiyama even won Nationals.

Without Atsumu, it had taken them everything in their power to even beat Shiratorizawa on the court. Ushijima had come with an even stronger team than before, his presence nearly enough to wipe the floor with them. Kiyoomi could feel his body breaking slowly as they fought, spiker against spiker, ace against ace.

When the whistle blew and signaled the end of the final set, it took everything in Kiyoomi’s power to not collapse when Ushijima reached out to offer him a hand. Kiyoomi looked up to see the southpaw smiling at him, as much as his face could allow it before he nods.

  
“Congratulations, Kiyoomi. You finally beat me.” Kiyoomi couldn’t even force himself to smile as they shook hands, Ushijima’s grip steady and firm as he nodded. They moved to stand with their teammates, Kiyoomi glancing at the spot a few places from him where a certain blonde would be waiting most of the time. He could almost imagine Atsumu’s smile and laugh as he tries to tackle him to the ground, cheering about their victory as Kiyoomi tries to squirm away.

He wished he could have seen this moment.

After the closing ceremony, Kiyoomi found himself standing outside Atsumu’s hospital door. Not caring that he still stank of sweat and salonpas, the spiker slowly knocked on the door, the sound of shuffling feet sounding as someone opened the door. Familiar golden brown eyes met his as Osamu opened the door to let him in, the spiker giving him a small smile as he stepped aside.

“Congratulations.” Kiyoomi nodded as he stepped in to see Atsumu lying in bed, his eyes looking out of the window. As he turned his head, Kiyoomi had to fight the urge to swallow as he looked at Atsumu. Even though he looked fine, the fact that he had various tubes snaking around his body showed that the setter was not alright. The slight tremble in his hands never left as he waved at Kiyoomi, the spiker approaching the bed.

“Congrats, Omi. You won.” Kiyoomi shook his head as he placed the golden medal into Atsumu’s lap, his lip trembling as he tried not to spill out the words.

_Why didn’t he tell him he was sick?_

_Why didn’t he ever tell him he was in pain?_

_Why did he not trust him with his illness?_

“Hey Omi. No use crying now. you’ve won! Be happy! Heck, you even got awarded best spiker award! At this rate, yer gonna go to the U19 camp and represent Japan!” Atsumu’s voice shook as he talked, Kiyoomi’s fingers curling in his fist as he growls.

  
“Why? Why did you tell me?”

Atsumu didn’t stop him as he tries to reach out to grab his collar. He decided it wouldn’t do any good to the spiker, Kiyoomi opting to stuff his hands into his pockets before excusing himself. As the door slammed behind him, it took him everything in his power to not slide down to his knees and cry, the spiker choking back his tears as he headed back to the dorms.

…

Atsumu never reappeared on the court again. The coach didn’t disclose what had happened to the setter, most of the team just glad they won’t have to hear his insults ever again. Iizuna came back as the main setter and Komori was finally able to get back on the court for some minor exercises. Everyone revelled about how things were back to normal, all except Kiyoomi.

He would look at the one spot Atsumu would always practice his spikes, the sound of the setter’s spiking filling his ears as he passed by.

He would often hear out for the sound of Atsumu’s voice calling for him to spike, Iizuna’s voice often throwing him off guard.

His dorm room felt much too empty without the setter, the place still littered with his things. Sometimes Kiyoomi would sit and stare at Atsumu’s part of the room, taking in the volleyball wallpapers plastered on the wall and the pile of homework that he would bring back to his desk day after day, hoping that one day the faux blonde would be able to return to school.

Slowly, summer began to bleed into autumn. The trees began to lose their colour as their leaves fell to the ground, turning Tokyo into a sea of orange and yellow.

Now, Kiyoomi stood outside of Atsumu’s door once more, hearing the twin argue with his brother as Osamu snapped.

“If you had just freaking listened! If you had gone to see the doctor like yer had to!”

“What use do I have with seeing someone who can’t even heal me?!”

“Ya scrub, ya know you had a shot if ya…”

“A shot?! A freaking shot?! I’ve been like this for a year now! they said there isn’t any cure! Even if I can survive the operation, I will never be able to play volleyball again! I rather die than not play volleyball!” Silence hung on the other side of the door until Osamu’s voice cut through it, a knife slicing through him as Osamu whispers.

“So you rather die than be by my side eh? Some older brother you are!”

The door slams open as Osamu pushes past Kiyoomi, the younger Miya stomping down the hallway. Kiyoomi slowly peaks in to see Atsumu sitting in his bed, his body much thinner than before. He had lost quite a bit of weight, his skin now a paper grey as his blonde locks turned back to their original black colour. He doesn’t say a word as Kiyoomi took a seat beside the bed. The sound of the heart monitor filled the silence until Atsumu finally spoke, answering the question Kiyoomi hadn’t dared to ask.

“Let me tell you of one lie I told.”

…

Miya Atsumu was as healthy as a 15 year old could get.

He was a strong volleyball player without a history of any health issues; his family had no problems with their health at all, most of the Miya clan dying ripe old ages.

Until one day, Atsumu collapsed on the court during practice and came out of a coma after a few days. Osamu had nearly choked him to death when he woke up, his parents worried to near death as the doctor finally told the little family of their predicament.

Atsumu only had a year to live and even if he took the operation that had higher chances of killing him than saving him, he would never be able to play volleyball again.

While his parents and brother begged for him to take the operation to just prolonged his life in this world, Atsumu remembered of the one promise he made to a certain spiker in Tokyo all those years ago. It had been at his first National tournament that he saw him, the curly haired spiker spiking each ball with such deadly precision that it nearly blew the twins away. The way his wrists managed to snap in a weird bendy way both awed and disgusted Atsumu; he had never seen someone as dedicated to the sport as him, or as talented.

Sakusa Kiyoomi, one of the best spikers in Japan and on the way to becoming an Olympian.

If Atsumu could choose to set to someone other than Osamu, he would choose him.

And so he decided to tell the world one lie.

That Miya Atsumu needed a change of pace and moved to Tokyo to challenge himself on the best team in the country. He left behind his old team, his family, his twin brother, all to set to a spiker who couldn’t even remember his face.

Volleyball had become more fun than ever before. Atsumu was so used to having to sync up to his brother that being given a monster as unpredicatable and silent as Kiyoomi nearly threw him off his game. Kiyoomi would not speak a word or even give a high five to anyone on the court when they scored a point; the boy just stayed clear of anyone around him.

That attracted Atsumu more to him then ever, the setter wanting to break past the boundaries known as Sakusa Kiyoomi and getting to know him more.

He lied when he told him he had been randomly assigned to his room. He had actually begged the higher ups to let him stay there and it took a lot of convincing to let him move in with the germaphobe. Atsumu had to say that he thought Kiyoomi would be much worse since he never bothered to clean up his messes; he always let Atsumu do what he want most of the time.

Omi.

How he wished he could notice him as more than a setter.

He literally uprooted himself to be with him.

Why did he feel pulled to the spiker so much, he would never know?

Even when Atsumu was told his condition had worsened, the setter only smiled and accepted his fate.

Even if he couldn’t play volleyball anymore, even if he had to leave everything behind, at least he managed to set to Kiyoomi for a good few months.

Even if no one would remember him after he dies, he would always smile knowing that he had fulfilled his wish.

Who needs memories when all you have to do is challenge the moment?


	5. You are my sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How about you make it up to me? Win nationals, and you give me a hug. That’s a deal?”

Too soon.

Nationals came again too soon.

Autumn now made way to the brutal cold of winter, turning Tokyo into a sea of white as people shuffled to and fro from their lives. Kiyoomi continued his walk to the hospital, a familiar route he took every day now after school just to see a certain blonde.

Not that the said blonde was blonde anymore.

Before he could open the door, he heard a soft hum coming from inside, Atsumu’s voice weak as he hums the words to a familiar song Kiyoomi has heard since he was a child.

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,

You never know that,

How much I love you.

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

As he opened the door to Atsumu’s room, he watched as Atsumu lay in his bed, barely able to sit up for more than an hour a day now. His muscles were wasting away; the last time he had walked had been a month ago when he had gone for the surgery. Things hadn’t looked well after it either; the blonde was getting more sickly as time went on.

A bag sat on the side table, indicating a member of the Miya family was there now. The Miyas, with the exception of Osamu had begun staying in Tokyo to take care of Atsumu, with Osamu coming up every weekend to be with his brother. Even as they prayed to whatever gods they believed in and how many times people prayed for Atsumu, the boy wasn’t getting any better.

Kiyoomi watched as Atsumu breathed slowly, his eyelashes fluttered shut. His cheeks were slightly sunken in, the skin a pale grey. His lips had lost most of their colour, chapped and dry. His strong arms that could spike balls at 120km per hour were now around half of their previous size.

And the blonde hair that Kiyoomi had come to associate with the blonde had now turned back to its brown colour. A bit of blonde still flakes his hair, although only at the tips of his hair. Atsumu’s hair now came to his shoulders from not having cut it for ages; Osamu had called him a caveman at one point when he didn’t shave his beard.

Slowly, the blonde opened his eyes, turning his head weakly to look at Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi’s heart almost sank as he took his place besides Atsumu’s bedside, the blonde smiling as he laid some food he had asked for on the bedside table.

  
“Hey Omi. How’s volleyball?”

“Even when you’re so sick, you still care about it,” Kiyoomi huffs but he continued to tell him about how the team was faring. Komori had recovered faster than everyone thought and the libero had even played in a couple of official matches ever since his return. The team had won first place in the Spring Interhigh qualifiers as per usual and were due to play in Nationals in a month’s time. Sakusa twisted his fingers as he relayed the news that he had managed to get onto the U19 Youth Camp as well, Atsumu’s eyes twinkling ever so slightly as he grins.

“Ya made it, Omi.”

“You should have been there with me.” Kiyoomi curls his fingers in his lap as he tries not to think of all the what ifs that could have happened, if he had just noticed things earlier. Even with the surgery, Atsumu has been looking worse and at this rate…

“Hey, Omi. Look at me.” Kiyoomi turns to see Atsumu raising his hand, reaching for his face as he slowly turns it towards him. his skin was cold as it connects with Kiyoomi’s mask, his fingers light as he smiles.

“How about you make it up to me? Win nationals, and you give me a hug. That’s a deal?”

…

Kiyoomi pants as he stands on the court once more. His joints ached from having played for the past three hours none stop, the points inching forward ever so slightly in their favour. His eyes rested on the flight of crows standing on the court before them, unknown opponents he hadn’t even heard off until now. Their presence made him want to kneel on the ground and give up; no matter how many times he spiked, his blocks would be read. Heck, even their small tangerine of a spiker could keep up with him!

A wall stands before him, blocking the sight before his eyes. Kiyoomi raises his fist as he tries to break through it, his heart screaming to stand on the court one last time. All around him, he could hear his teammates do the same, the spiker rising to spike the ball across the net as he felt a single touch pressing on his back.

“Go, Omi!” Kiyoomi spikes the ball across, blowing past the blockers as it slammed onto the court. The other team was unable to pick it up, Kiyoomi staring at his hand as he came to rest on the ground. Slowly but surely, screams of happiness rang across the stadium as Kiyoomi was assaulted by his teammates, all of them not caring about him not wanting to touch them as Komori leaped onto him. His cousin had tears in his eyes as he held onto him, Kiyoomi numb to the world around him as Atsumu’s voice echoed.

_“How about you make it up to me? Win nationals, and you give me a hug. That’s a deal?”_

“Oi, Sakusa! Where are you going?! The ceremony is about to start!” Iizuna yells as Kiyoomi sprints out of the gym. He doesn’t take notice of the cameras flashing after him, reporters trying to clamour around the best wing spiker as he runs out of the building clad in just his shorts and shirt. He continued to run down the road, ignoring the stares of pedestrians as he raced to the hospital, praying that he wasn’t too late as the cold threatened to freeze him.

For the first time in a very long time, Kiyoomi ran the streets of Tokyo, breathing the air through his nose without being blocked by a mask.

By the time he reached the hospital, his sweat had almost frozen to his skin. He didn’t stop to take a breath as he slid the door open, Atsumu eyes closed as the closing ceremony to the Spring Interhigh played on the TV hanging in front of the bed.

Kiyoomi slowly takes a seat next to Atsumu, his hand moving to pick Atsumu’s in his as he whispers.

“We did it, Atsumu. We did it.”

Atsumu doesn’t reply, the setter’s eyes fluttered shut as Kiyoomi moves to take his hand in his. He runs his thumb over the bones, his fingers barely managing to warm against Atsumu’s as he pressed his lips against his hand.

“Atsumu, I wished you could have seen them.” There was a low grunt as Atsumu barely opened his eyes, the dark brown now pale as he tries to speak. Kiyoomi slowly shushes him as the setter tried to speak, his words forming a single sentence Kiyoomi barely manages to catch.

“Omi… I’m sorry.” Kiyoomi doesn’t stop as he reaches to hug Atsumu tightly, the setter almost limp in his arms as he rocked against him. Kiyoomi didn’t care that Atsumu would stink from the sweat clinging onto his skin or how this was the first time he hugged someone who wasn’t family in years. Atsumu simply sinks against him as the faint sound of his heart monitor filled the room in a steady rhythm.

“O…mi… I…” Kiyoomi feels Atsumu moving as the setter tries to touch his face, his fingers twitching as he raised his hand. Atsumu’s lips failed to move as his heart beat slowly went down, Kiyoomi beginning to panic as a smile ghosted Atsumu’s lips.

“It… is… o… k… I…”

“Shh, I got you. I’ve got you.” He continued to hold onto Atsumu, unable to look at him in the face as the other boy let’s out a low chuckle. His fingers moved to touch Kiyoomi’s face, slowly turning him to face him as Atsumu takes one good look at him. Kiyoomi doesn’t move as Atsumu presses a kiss to his lips, soft and steady.

“Thank.. you…” Kiyoomi doesn’t move as Atsumu falls limp against him, the sound of his heart failing beeping. Kiyoomi sits there, letting Atsumu rest against him as he finally releases the tears, the sound of his sobs filling the room even as nurses and doctors rushed in.

“Tsumu… Tsumu…”

At that point in his life, his sun finally went dark, leaving him in a world of darkness.

…

The funeral was a simple affair. Only close family and friends were allowed to come and pay their respects. Atsumu didn’t have many friends to begin with other than the Inarizaki volleyball team. The students made their way into the Miya home, offering their condolences to the grieving parents before taking their seats. Kiyoomi slowly inched his way foreward, dressed in his Itachiyama school uniform as he looked down at Atsumu’s face in the casket.

“He looks so peaceful, doesn’t he?” Osamu asks as he stands next to Kiyoomi. The twin had black eyebags underneath his eyes, his eyes red from crying so much as Kiyoomi nods. Osamu reaches to give his hand a squeese.

“Thank you for being with him in his last moments.” He lets his hand go as Kiyoomi takes his seat among the mourners, the priest’s words flying over his head as he holds onto the letter that Osamu had placed in his hand.

Once he was back in his room in Itachiyama, only then did Kiyoomi opened the letter. Inside was the scrawly handwriting of Miya Atsumu, the setter’s kanji almost indecipherable as he read the letter.

_Hey Omi,_

_If you’re reading this… well… I don’t want to say that I have died but oh well._

_I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed playing volleyball with you this year. Inarizaki was fun but being able to spike to you, one of the best spikers in the country was one of the best things a setter could ever do. I loved how you spiked so crazily all the time and never once seemed to care about me calling you nicknames. Although in the beginning you were as prickly as a sea urchin, you came to be ok with me eventually._

_Sitting here in the hospital now made me think : how would it have been like for me to have been by your side this whole time?_

_How would it be like to be with you?_

_I knew I was going to die so I took a chance. I decided to tell everyone one lie._

_To you, I lied that I came to Itachiyama for a change of pace._

_Actually, it was you I wanted to be with for the last year of my life._

_You may not remember me but at one time, I told you I would set to you and you said sure. To have done that, to have lived with you, to play with you, I could never ask for anything more than that._

_Actually, there was another lie I told you._

_I never did tell you how much I liked you. Not for your freaky playing style and wrists, or how clean you are no matter where you are. I liked you for how determined you were to succeed, of how much you loved volleyball._

_I liked how you would scrunch up your nose when concentrating on the court or doing your homework and how your black curls, as messy as they are, make you seem like a god carved out from marble._

_I liked how you were the only person on the court who actually called me a friend and teammate._

_Thank you for the past year, Omi._

_Even if I had to go through another thousand worlds or lifetimes, I will always choose to set to you._

_I love you, Kiyoomi._

_Even if I die without ever telling you this, I hope you can forgive me for being this selfish._

_Love,_

_Miya Atsumu_

“You idiot. You stupid idiot.” Kiyoomi’s hands shook as he brings the paper to his face, his tears beginning to stain it as he sobbed. His body shook as he tried to process what he had just read, the emotions in his heart bursting through the floodgates as he finally realised the throbbing feeling in his chest he had had for the blonde all year long.

It wasn’t irritation.

It wasn’t annoyance.

“I like you too, you idiot… I like you too.”


	6. Please don't take my sunshine away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
> 
> You make me happy when skies are grey.
> 
> You never know that how much I love you.
> 
> Please don't take my sunshine away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the final chapter!!! Hope you guys enjoyed this angst train!!!

**Several years later…**

“Uncle Omi! Uncle Omi! Hurry up, we’re going to miss the game!” his niece squeaked as Kiyoomi was dragged through the stadium. He knew he was attracting a lot of stares due to his status as a V League player by being in an opposing team’s game but his niece had insisted she needed to see Ushijima play live (because she thinks he’s the hottest thing that ever happened to mankind).

Kiyoomi tug his mask up, letting the little lady drag him forward just as he heard someone calling his name. He snapped up his head as his niece let out a squeal, running straight for a onigiri stall perched in the corner of the floor. The seller grinned as he picked the girl up, Kiyoomi praying that his niece wouldn’t smell of onigiri later in the car as Miya Osamu picked her up. The man laughed as he swung the girl around, the little devil squeaking about wanting to get Ushijima’s autograph when he finally took notice of him.

“Yo, Sakusa! What brings you here?”

“Mimi is an avid Ushijima fan and besides, it doesn’t hurt to see how the enemy fights.”

“Can’t deny that,” Osamu grinned as he finally set Mimi down before giving her a riceball. The little girl squeaked with thanks before stuffing her face full, Kiyoomi too focused on staring at Osamu as the man patted her on the head. The resemblance was still uncanny.

Even after seven years of losing Atsumu, he still couldn’t get rid of the Atsumu shape in his heart.

“How are ya doing?” Osamu asks as Kiyoomi shrugs. The twin doesn’t have to ask to know how he felt ever since Atsumu died. While Kiyoomi had continued to play volleyball, Osamu had left the volleyball scene to become an onigiri seller. Countless people had tried begging him to play on the court again but he had said that it just wasn’t the same to play knowing he didn’t have a brother to challenge anymore.

“Fine. How’s things holding up for you and Akaashi?”

“Eh?! How the hell do you know that?!” the onigiri seller squawked as his face turned a deep shade of red.

“As if Bokuto will shut up about how his best friend got a hot onigiri seller. He’s been complaining Akaashi is getting too fat.”

“Whaddaya mean?! He’s just a little… chubby?” Osamu sighs in defeat when his staff gives his a knock on the back of the head, making him go back to work as Kiyoomi collected his niece. The little girl had finally finished eating, her uncle making sure she had her fingers cleaned as they made their way to the stands.

When Ushijima appeared, Mimi had screamed so loud that Kiyoomi thought his ears would explode. Luckily for him, he was used to her screaming so much and by the time the game ended, he felt that he wouldn’t be able to hear a thing. He nearly forgot to bring her to see Ushijima to sign her shirt, the small girl going mad as the large player stood before her. While he was signing her shirt, Ushijima never once took his eyes off Kiyoomi, the athelete wishing he would just stop.

He didn’t know if he would ever be able to pursue another relationship. Even if Ushijima said he would make him happy, Kiyoomi couldn’t bear to have his heart shattered all over again.

“You can come for dinner with me later if you want.”

“Its alright, Wakatoshi. I have somewhere to go.” Ushijima nodded, giving Mimi a pat on the head before moving to the next fan, the little girl promising never to wash her hair as her uncle carried her to the car. Once she was strapped in did Kiyoomi final managed to breath, pulling down his mask as he moved to check the time.

Good, he still had a few more hours before sundown.

“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey.” Mimi sang as they rode in the car. Kiyoomi had to do everything in his power not to think of a certain blonde singing this exact same some in a hospital room years ago.

“Mimi, where did you hear that song?”

“Daddy has been singing it to me! He says if I sing it, I will become happy and bright like the sun!” Mimi beams as Kiyoomi groans. His brother was much more energetic and optimistic than him, teaching his kids how to be happy all the time. Kiyoomi didn’t know if he could ever do that with his own child, the wing spiker sighing internally as they finally came up to his brother’s house. Said brother stood outside waiting for his daughter, Mimi squealing as she jumped into her father’s arms.

Kiyoomi couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart, thinking how it would be like to be a father.

Guess he would never know.

“Sorry for making you take Mimi to see the game!”

“Don’t worry, Niisan.”

“Well, you still have time to go?”

“I think so, yes.”

“Bye bye, uncle Omi!” Mimi called as Kiyoomi felt a stab in the heart at the nickname. Mimi had been unable to call his full name since she was young so they got stuck with the nickname. Kiyoomi waved goodbye as he pulled off into the main street, hoping he could make it in time as he drove. Luckily for him, the Adlers had their match in Osaka this round, which made the trip down to Hyogo a bit faster. He stepped on the pedal as he sped down the highway, hoping he wouldn’t break any traffic laws on the way.

He could almost imagine a certain blonde piping up about how boring the ride would be and switching channels on the radio. He gritted his teeth as he turned on some music, letting it quell down his emotions as he finally reached his destination, the sun beginning to set. He picked up some flowers from a nearby florist and made the hike up the stone steps, thanking his atheletic training for not passing out as he finally reached the top.

Rows of tombstones lined the expanse of his sight, the wing spiker making his way through the graves. As he stepped in front of a familiar one, he saw that someone had already cleaned it and placed fresh flowers into one of the bamboo holders. Osamu no doubt since the man would have been in Hyogo and did this first thing in the morning for his brother’s seventh death anniversary.

Kiyoomi got to his knees as he placed the flowers before the grave before lighting up incense. The smell of incense burning filled the air as he stood up, pushing his hands into his pockets as he sighed.

“Hey Atsumu. Its been seven years eh? Olympic tryouts were a month ago and I hate to break it to you. But I got in. A couple of people from back in high school got in too; Wakatoshi, Komori, even some freak duo from Karasuno. “ His hands balled into fists as he thought of how Atsumu should have been there instead of Kageyama. Even though the setter was the best in the country, it didn’t feel right to have him set to him on the court.

“Just now I was looking at Mimi and Niisan. Sometimes I wondered, if you had lived.. would we have a family? Would we have a happy life?

Even until now, I still haven’t forgiven you for lying to me, you moron.

I hate you. I like you.

I like you a lot.

Turn back the clock and make the right decision you moron.” Kiyoomi let’s the tears fall as the sun slowly sets in the horizon. The sky begins to darken, shielding Kiyoomi’s face from view as he sings into the empty sky.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know that… that….”

_He loved him. Why didn’t he realise it? The jokes? The stupid teasing? Wishing he could be there by his side?_

_Why didn’t he notice it earlier?_

“Please… don’t take… my sunshine… a… way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story!
> 
> Ave atque vale and until we meet again, sayonara.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated every two to three days.
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated and welcomed! They really motivate me as a writer.


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